Indiana Jones Jumps the Shark

Spoilers, as usual.

The sum and substance of my Indy IV experience consisted of me repeatedly chanting at the screen:

Please don't let it be aliens!
Please don't let it be aliens!
Please don't let it be aliens!

Guess what?

It was aliens.

Each of the first three films had a supernatural element--The Ark melted Belloq's face, the Shankara Stones burned through Indy's WWII Mark VII British gas mask bag, and the Holy Grail healed Dr. Jones, Sr.'s gunshot wound. But these were all ambiguous. There was a little bit of magic, but it wasn't explained. It was almost an afterthought, added to complete the mythical nature of the stories.

Indy IV is entirely unlike the first three in this respect. The Indiana Jones franchise has officially jumped the shark.

And I really have very little else to say about it. There was an absolutely awful scene in a soda shop early on--pure exposition--that felt forced, awkward, and was horribly edited. And Cate Blanchett's accent kept slipping from Eastern Ukrainian Commie Uber Bitch into Lady Galadriel every time she said "Dr. Jones," which was quite obnoxious. And don't forget Mutt's instantaneous, barely-explained, and preternatural ability to perform very physically demanding tasks with apparent ease: fencing with one foot in one car and the other in another; swinging through the jungle on vines; &c. Now I know Indiana Jones stories aren't supposed to be very realistic, but this was off the deep end.

In short: the George Lucas Hand of Death strikes again!

Tom G Varik