I’m looking forward to James Cameron’s Avatar just like everyone else. But when I saw this photo on a Drudge Report headline about the film, I got a little upset. Photo by John Shearer, Getty Images, 2009 Is that person in the aisle seat of the second row video­taping the movie off the screen? Am I the only one who sees this? Never ever ever videotape a movie in the theater. That’s called stealing, and it’s wrong. Never ever ever encourage this kind of behavior by down­loading movies off the Internet. That’s stealing too, and just as wrong. As for the guy with the pizza, I’m going to [ . . . ]

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Being unem­ployed, I can go to the cinema on a Tuesday morning and see three pictures in a row. This is precisely what I did this week. I saw three films. The theater was also playing Michael Moore’s latest barf-​​​​fest, but I decided that I’ve had nothing to say about Michael Moore for years now and wouldn’t want to ruin a good thing. Zombieland I’ve never liked zombie films much, mostly because they are within the post-​​​​apocalyptic survival genre I could never get into, since they invariably involve some self-​​​​sacrificing dipshit who gets himself killed in order to save the others, or “hero­ically” gets himself infected so he’s [ . . . ]

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