I’m look­ing for­ward to James Cameron’s Avatar just like every­one else. But when I saw this photo on a Drudge Report head­line about the film, I got a lit­tle upset. Photo by John Shearer, Getty Images, 2009 Is that per­son in the aisle seat of the sec­ond row video­tap­ing the movie off the screen? Am I the only one who sees this? Never ever ever video­tape a movie in the the­ater. That’s called steal­ing, and it’s wrong. Never ever ever encour­age this kind of behav­ior by down­load­ing movies off the Inter­net. That’s steal­ing too, and just as wrong. As for the guy with the pizza, I’m going to assume [ . . . ]

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Being unem­ployed, I can go to the cin­ema on a Tues­day morn­ing and see three pic­tures in a row. This is pre­cisely what I did this week. I saw three films. The the­ater was also play­ing Michael Moore’s lat­est barf-​​​​fest, but I decided that I’ve had noth­ing to say about Michael Moore for years now and wouldn’t want to ruin a good thing. Zom­bieland I’ve never liked zom­bie films much, mostly because they are within the post-​​​​apocalyptic sur­vival genre I could never get into, since they invari­ably involve some self-​​​​sacrificing dip­shit who gets him­self killed in order to save the oth­ers, or “hero­ically” gets him­self infected so he’s [ . . . ]

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