Archive for the 'Christmas' Category

I like most of my family. I do not waste my time on those family members whom I do not like, their pathetic attempts to induce holiday guilt notwithstanding. Funny, I haven’t spoken to some of these people in over a dozen years and they still think they can guilt slash bribe me into calling them. Or visiting. Or even acknowledging their existence. They just don’t get it. I really like Christmas. I’m not going to spoil it by concerning myself with unpleasant people.

On a marginally-related note, has anyone had any pleasant experiences with any of the various gift-card exchange services on the Internets?

Most of the family members I do like come to my mother’s house for the Christmas. This year, some came early for my little sister’s graduation party. I say little, but she is only four years younger than I am. She just graduated from University with a business degree. Yay, her.

The day before her party, she had an interview with a local sales firm. Or at least, that’s what she thought she had. She found the position through online job-hunt service Monster Dot Com. The position was advertised as being with High-Profile Sales Firm A. She was excited. The interview was an all-day affair. Now, in the legal world, all-day interviews mean fancy lunches, meeting the partners, chatting with associates, cigars, expensive liquor, and high-profile social affairs. Alas, my poor sister arrived at her interview to discover several unfortunate things.

First, the position for which she was being interviewed was not with High-Profile Sales Firm A, but with No-Name Back-Door Shady Firm B, which only had a passing business association with High-Profile Sales Firm A. To wit, they shared an office. No-Name Back-Door Shady Firm B didn’t even have its own offices.

The business cards were home-printed. And had colorful graphics.

And it turns out, “all-day interview” means shadowing someone doing door-to-door business solicitations in area strip-malls.

A truck-driver offered her ten extra dollars to take a ride in his truck with him.

She got a citation from the police for soliciting without a license.

The poor thing was traumatized, and immediately decided to go to graduate school to get her MBA. She said to me, “If these are college-educated people, I want nothing to do with them.” I promised her I would blog about her experience.

Unlike Filbbert, I have a really neat sister. She lives near me, and we do stuff together sometimes.

Some 40 people showed up at the house for her party. I knew she was much better at the making friends thing than I am, but this was ridiculous! I don’t like crowds of people, especially people I don’t know, making inane conversation and drinking too much wine. I hid in the kitchen most of the time, and spent some time talking with a friend of the family (who also happens to be an attorney) about law school. Yet again, law school manages to taint every corner of my life.

I did make an extraordinary triple-chocolate peppermint cake, though.

Cake

Yes, those are candied mint leaves. It was a major hit. The recipe is here. I followed it exactly except that I used only 1/2 cup of chocolate chips in the cake batter, because I couldn’t find miniature chips and I thought 1 1/2 cups of full-size chocolate chips would make the cake way too chunky, and I baked it in two pans instead of one. They took only about 28 minutes to bake.

The chopping of the chocolate, however, was quite time-consuming. All in all, I spent about 4 hours on it, excluding the buying of ingredients, forgetting the cake pan, and having to drive all the way back to the Wal-Mart to get it. It became known in the family as the “All-Day Cake,” and I have been informed that I will be asked to make it again in the future.

After the party, the rest of Christmas was mostly unremarkable. I kept alive my three-year-old tradition of being miserably sick on and around Christmas, but that didn’t stop me from making the most of it. I’ll spare you the unpleasant details of this year’s ailment, but I should make a general warning never to sneeze while eating raw cauliflower.

This Christmas saw the addition of 53 titles to my DVD collection. Here they are:

  1. 9 to 5
  2. A View to a Kill
  3. Barbarella: Queen of the Galaxy
  4. Batman
  5. Batman Returns
  6. Blade Runner
  7. Dial M For Murder
  8. Diamonds Are Forever
  9. Die Another Day
  10. Dr. No
  11. Family Plot
  12. Foreign Correspondent
  13. For Your Eyes Only
  14. Frenzy
  15. From Russia with Love
  16. Goldeneye
  17. Goldfinger
  18. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
  19. I Confess
  20. License to Kill
  21. Live and Let Die
  22. Marnie
  23. Moonraker
  24. Mr. & Mrs. Smith (1941, d:Hitchcock)
  25. North by Northwest
  26. Octopussy
  27. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service
  28. Psycho
  29. Ratatouille
  30. Rear Window
  31. Rope
  32. Saboteur
  33. Shadow of a Doubt
  34. Stage Fright
  35. Strangers on a Train
  36. Suspicion
  37. The Birds
  38. The Living Daylights
  39. The Man Who Knew Too Much (1955)
  40. The Man with the Golden Gun
  41. The Queen
  42. The Quick and the Dead
  43. The Spy Who Loved Me
  44. The Trouble with Harry
  45. The World Is Not Enough
  46. The Wrong Man
  47. Thunderball
  48. Tomorrow Never Dies
  49. Topaz
  50. Torn Curtain
  51. Vertigo
  52. Witness for the Prosecution
  53. You Only Live Twice

You will notice all the James Bond films (excluding Casino Royale (2006), which I already own, and Casino Royale (1967) and Never Say Never Again, which don’t count) and a large number of Hitchcock films. I received the James Bond Ultimate Collection and two Hitchcock collections which account for the atrociously large title count this year.

I also received several other lovelies, including a Linux-based wireless router, new 7.1 speakers and sound card for my desktop, a 250GB portable hard drive, and the PC game The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I also received a positively scrumptious black wool peacoat.


It is difficult for me to express exactly how much this man scares me. Not just from a political standpoint, but as a person. Even the look of him portends terrible things. Perhaps he smells of doom.

It isn’t even the possibility, however remote, that he might be elected that scares me. A theocrat at 1600 Pennsylvania couldn’t do so much damage as, say, a theocrat at One First Street. It would still be awful, but if putting up a theocratic government is your goal, the Oval Office isn’t the most effective route.

What is really frightening about Mike Huckabee is that so many people - people who have secretly yearned for a more religious government for decades - are becoming more vocal about their desire for a tyrannical government. What happened?

But there is one upside:

If he does get nominated, voting for the Democrat will sting just a little bit less.

Super Happy Capitalist Winter Extravaganza is near at hand!

Most of you know this holiday by its much less cumbersome and more familiar name, Christmas. But let’s face it: Christmas is about buying stuff for people you like and getting stuff from them, in a fantastic orgy of sales and decorations, smothered in a gooey outpouring of happy delicious good will. Hooray, Capitalism!

In the spirit of the lively exchange of gifts, I have published The List. See the hat on the “W” in the header? You can click that, too.

Not only do I like getting things for Christmas, but I like buying them for other people, too. So don’t be shy! Get those lists up so everyone knows what you want this year!