New York Sen­a­tor and aspir­ing Demo­c­ra­tic Pres­i­den­tial can­di­date Hillary R. Clin­ton is set to unveil her new plan to enslave physi­cians and ensure that all Amer­i­cans have equal access to death today. High­lights will include: indi­vid­ual man­dates, requir­ing all Amer­i­cans to buy health insur­ance; employer man­dates, requir­ing employ­ers to pay for employee health care; and insur­ance man­dates, bar­ring insur­ance com­pa­nies from charg­ing unhealthy clients more for cov­er­age. Specif­i­cally,

Clinton’s pack­age would also require insur­ers to pro­vide cov­er­age for any­one who applies for it and would also bar insur­ance com­pa­nies from charg­ing peo­ple with greater health care costs more for their premiums.

But here’s how her ‘top pol­icy advi­sor’ describes the plan:

It puts the con­sumer in the driver’s seat by offer­ing more choices and low­er­ing costs.

Balder­dash! Telling insur­ers they can’t charge more for unhealthy peo­ple means every­one will have to pay higher pre­mi­ums. And when those pre­mi­ums pass out beyond the abil­ity of most Amer­i­cans to pay, guess who will step in to pay it. Hillary. But as she will be extract­ing all that money from Amer­i­can tax­pay­ers in the first place, this pro­gram promises to bank­rupt Amer­i­cans and make qual­ity health care a thing of the past.

Hold on to your back­sides. We’re in for a bumpy ride.