Miss Manners on American Obeisance
[Royal personages] do not have the right to receive physical obeisance from American citizens. Miss Manners has had to issue the decree many times now that American ladies should not curtsy [ed: nor should American gentlemen bow] to royalty, and there are still those who do so at every available opportunity. They are in error, not only in the matter of world etiquette, but of geography, physics and ancient and modern history.
. . .
Bending the knee is the traditional gesture of an inferior to a superior. . . . The curtsy is but one form of the gesture of adoring a sovereign. . . .
Thus, those who believe that curtsying demonstrates their own high social rank or breeding are mistaken. Their geography is faulty if they think that bending down will elevate them; the notion that there is a law of physics stating that what goes down must come up is erroneous.
As for history, Miss Manners considers that the matter was settled by the philosopher Callisthenes, who disabused Alexander the Great of the notion that the Persian custom of groveling to royalty could be established in Macedonia and Greece. . . .
If you require more recent history, there is that matter of the war that we Americans fought to free ourselves of subjugation to the British Crown. . . .
How, then, do we Americans properly treat royalty? With the dignity and respect we naturally show to heads of state and other foreign officials. Our traditional form of greeting is to shake the hand. This gesture is not interchangeable with that of the curtsy [ed: or bow, or genuflection], as the State Department once tried to suggest when obfuscating the matter, claiming that the word “curtsy” being derived from “courtsey,” it signified no more. Your government should not have to inform you that the word “courtesy” derives from behavior in the courts of royalty, which is no business of ours.
~U.S. President Barack Obama visits King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz Al Saud in Saudi Arabia in June, 2009
~U.S. President Barack Obama visits Emperor Akihito and Empress Michiko in Japan in November, 2009
Update, 24 Nov. 2009:
~U.S. President Barack Obama visits Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao in China in November, 2009
I am not knowledgeable enough about Saudi Arabian customs to comment on whether or not bowing is culturally appropriate, but in both China and Japan bowing is a customary greeting when meeting almost everyone, not merely ones “betters”; moreover, while Prime Minister Wen Jiabao is not democratically elected, he is not royalty, either.
On the other hand, if President Obama wishes to act in a culturally appropriate manner when he makes visits abroad, he should learn the exact etiquette (he is not bowing properly).
The point Miss Manners and I are making by relating the background behind such customs is that it is never culturally appropriate for an American to bow to someone as a greeting. Americans do not bow. Our culture of individualism and the fundamental equality of all persons forbids it. American businessmen need to learn this lesson as much as President Obama does. The bow is, in all cultures where it is prevalent as a greeting, either for royalty or merely for one’s “betters” (both are concepts alien to American individualism), is a display of obsequious obeisance, not appropriate for a meeting of equals. If an American wishes to be gracious when meeting a new acquaintance from a culture where bowing is prevalent, he should ask his new acquaintance please not to bow, to stand upright, and to extend a hand in equal partnership and respect instead.
On a broader note, cultural relativism (the idea that no culture is superior to any other, and that all should be respected by outsiders) is garbage. Some cultures are better than others, and one can determine which are better by looking at them and asking “which is moral?” Or, “which culture best promotes human life as a rational individual?” The answer is still American culture.
~Q